This work was published in The Avenue Journal, Issue X: Dogs
Fuzzy
by Nathan Cover
I always wanted a dog growing up.
My parents said no.
Too messy. Too needy. Too much money.
These were excuses, because I was a girl crazy about animals. My parents never believed I wouldn’t take care of a dog. But we really couldn’t afford it. Not with Marcus, Tre and Javari raiding the cupboard.
My parents both worked, but they were cautious. Maybe if I’d have wanted a German Shepherd or something they would have gone for that. Some vicious beast that would double as a security system would have made a lot more sense living out west in Lawndale.
Later, we moved closer to the lake. We could have afforded one by then, but I was caught up with my own life in high school. I never minded them being strict I guess. I saw too much to be naive. I’d tell you about it, but then you’re gonna give me that sad, white, oh you’re actually a little hoodrat stare and we’ll never get back to where we are now.
I should tell you I didn’t want just any dog either. I wanted an Alaskan Husky. One of those beautiful dogs with a luscious flowing mane, like a half wolf cousin thing. But they have those cute little faces too, you know? I didn’t want an angry glowering dog, just glaring at everyone. Back then, I’d never seen a sister with a Husky before.
I have a good head for numbers and I didn’t want to be moving back into their house. I watched Marcus, and then Tre, move back in. Javari hit the ground running though. He makes six figures now, but I don’t have the heart for those pushy sales things.
Accounting is stable and safe and predictable. Girl, I like to pay a bill. You can miss me with that payday loan ish. But I don’t think I ever connected it until after I got Fuzzbucket. Like all those years of school I thought I was doing it for me.
But then I look at his adorable little face, will you just look at it? Look at how he does it. How can you not love that? That is unconditional love. No man ever love me like that. And that’s ok, men is messy and high maintenance. I got to take him for three walks every day, but at least I don’t have to stroke his ego…
Now these people want to keep telling me about puppy mills and all that to make me feel bad. But it’s not gonna work. Listen, I didn’t wait all this time for some free whatever ass dog. That’s great if people want to do that. God bless them, but this little motherfucker came straight from the breeders. I saw him there in that litter. And I thought he just looks like a Prince. Then the lady there told me the price and I said ‘Oh Lord, he better be a real prince for that price!’ But you know it was too late, ‘cause by that point I was… smitten. I can’t even tell you how much I paid. You’ll see me blush right up through these black ass cheeks.
I brought you home and you just would not respond to the name Prince! Which was sad, because Little Red Corvette is my karaoke jam. I was brushing his hair one morning and it was like shedding everywhere, like you will not believe how much this dog sheds. I just rollered it this morning and already look. See!
So I got frustrated with his cute ass and I said, ‘Fuzzbucket! You hold still!’ And he shimmied, wiggled his little behind, and he licked my face, and he looked like he was just ready to lead a whole sled team. Every day after that when I’d call him Fuzzbucket he’d get so excited he’d come right away. When I called him that, I decided Prince was a mistake. It’s no use calling somebody by what ain’t they name.
‘Fuzzbucket!’
See look, look how ready he is! He knows we’re about to go on a W-A-L-K. Isn’t that right?
You wanna walk with me? Do you mind? Then we’ll go eat. I’ll feel better if I don’t have to worry about him tearing up anything while we’re gone. He’s very attached to his mommy.
‘Hi, and who is this handsome boy? Oh, look at him!’
‘Oh my God, what’s his name? He’s so cute!’
See, it be like this every time we go for a walk. I love it. Before I used to walk with him ain’t nobody say shit to me. Now I go walking with him out here, it’s like motherfucking Pleasantville. You’d think I was in one of those old shows, What’s the town? Mayberry! That’s it. When I walk with him it’s Mayberry.
That’s his gift to me. He makes everybody see me how I want to be seen, just friendly and warm and not some kind of threat. But then, don’t mess with me, you know, because if somebody come up in my sphere with a bad intention, Fuzzbucket, he knows right away. He’ll show them teeth fast, girl. He ain’t playing!
White people is funny. Every single one of them has to say hi when I’m walking with him. Everybody gots to say a good boy under their breath or a hello or a good morning to me. It’s crazy. I’ll be seeing these corporate looking guys, just looking all mean and shitty when we first see each other, but the moment they see Fuzzy it’s all ‘Hey there buddy’ like somebody invited them to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game. Oh, it’s wild! You wouldn’t believe.
I wish I could have that kind of look when I go out just me. I really would say good morning to everyone. My parents raised me right, I’m not rude to nobody who didn’t have it coming.
But no Fuzzy, no smiles, just walk past me like invisible. Everybody busy, got places to be and stressed out.
So I love that about him. He’s still my Prince. He makes me think, like people not mean and evil and shitty as much as just like, they need a reason, an excuse to smile and think to treat you like a human being. ‘That’s just how it is these days though, right Fuzzmaster Flash?’
‘Here, go get it!’ See how fast he is? Ate them other dogs up trying to run that ball down. Only ever seen him get outrun by a Greyhound.
I really don’t know what I’d do anymore without my sweet Prince. I don’t.
I don’t.
Nathan Cover is a teacher, writer and traveler who lives in Chicago. His flash fiction was shortlisted to Wigleaf’s Top 50 Very Short Fictions of 2024 and has appeared in X-ray and BULL.
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